I Survived Midterms!

I survived the week! That in itself is a miracle. I've completed my first final and I officially finished a college class! My Research and Writing class was only a one credit, 8-week class. It feels good to have it done. Tuesday was a Theology final. On Thursday I had an interview for the campus coffee shop. No word back yet; we'll see how it goes. Friday had two of the most difficult tests: US History (affectionately referred to as "Spinney") and Logic. On Thursday night, the atmosphere around the freshmen was tense. We would pass each other on the way to the library. "Are you ready?" one would ask. "No, not yet. Are you?" "Definitely not." It felt like we were about to go into battle. On Friday, we kept updating each other on our progress: "I've taken half of Spinney and Logic." "Oh, I still have all of Spinney to do." Lunch was a mess of notes as we quizzed each other and remembered last-minute facts. And then, what rejoicing on Friday night! We reveled in dining hall pizza and ice cream. How did I celebrate? My mentor, and senior named Krystal, took me out for coffee. Later, I walked with my roommate into town to have dessert with one of my professors. Yes, celebrated the end of tests by sharing dessert and talking to one of the professors who gave the test. But it was quite enjoyable. :)



Saturday was spent in recovery from midterms (I know, the college life is SO difficult!). I did manage to get a little schoolwork done. Saturday evening was PHC's annual HOEDOWN! Yeehaw! Too bad I left my cowboy boots at home. It was so much fun (I say that about every dance don't I? Well, it's true :]). The callers taught us about 8 line dances, and there were some really fun square dances as well as a little bit of traditional dancing. It was held in a barn with a dirt floor, and there was pie, and people dressed up in flannel and cowboy hats. By my senior year, I'll be a professional dancer. I was so tired by the end. I think we should have a dance every weekend. They are great workouts.

Today there was a very good message in church, as well as communion. In the afternoon, I got to visit with a friend from another dorm. Then, there was the epic football game. Now, usually our campus is a very nice, harmonious place. But today - man, you had to watch what color you wore. Black stood for D5 - one of the guys' dorms. White was D4, the other guys' dorm. Since I live right next to D5, and my brother wing is in D5, I wore black. But D5 lost :(. Sad times.

Besides schoolwork, this past week has had emotional difficulties. The homesickness was dreadful. I really felt completely isolated from everyone and inept at social situations. Now, some of you may read this and think "I knew it! Homeschooling deters kids socially." Well, I know that it's not due to my homeschooling. 85% of my campus is homeschooled, and if we were all inept then we would all sit at separate tables at meals and never come out of our rooms :). I've just never been very good at light friendships. It was really frustrating this past week. But then I realized that I have been relying totally on myself to go out there and be outgoing, and I was beating myself up for every perceived fault or awkward moment. And I knew that I can't make the friendships I want on my own. It is not my gift. So I threw myself on God's grace, admitting that I was incapable, but He is all powerful. And you know, it is so incredible what God does when we let go and let Him do His thing. I have been shocked and amazed at some of the situations He's put me in. A couple friends complimented me on being positive all the time; they said that it was very enjoyable to be around me. And I knew right then, that it wasn't anything I did or said to deserve that. It was all God. So now, God has completely broken me in respect to schoolwork and social life. And it is the best thing that has ever happened to me. I didn't know that learning my insufficiencies would be so liberating! I wonder what I shall have to learn next.

Thank you all for your continued prayer. In just a few more weeks I shall get to go home!!! I am so very excited for that. At the same time, I'm starting to feel comfortable here. God is good. He blesses me wherever I go. Thanks be to God, Hallelujah!

~Carissa