Lessons, lessons, lessons

Here I am at the beginning of another week. I feel like I really grew up a lot last week, and I learned much about my Lord and myself. First of all, my mom is okay. :) She got out of the hospital on Friday morning, and made it home that evening. Now the family (minus me) is reunited on the mountain. :)

So how did I grow up last week? Well, the trials really taught me a lot. James 1 is true -we should rejoice when we face trials, because if we perservere through them God will use them to make us perfect and complete. No, I'm not perfect yet, but I think I took a step further.

First, I learned that I have to grow up and take a step away from home. Christmas break was wonderful; it really taught me to appreciate home and family. It also made it very difficult to come back to school. For the past couple weeks, I've been resenting being at college. All I wanted to do was be at home to cook, clean, and be with my family and friends. But I realized that if I'm resenting being here, am I not resenting God's plan? And if I'm resenting His plan, doesn't that mean I'm resenting Him? And resenting God is most certainly a foolish thing to do. I had to trust that God knew that my mom would have complications, and He planned that I would be here in Virginia at the time. So instead of wishing for California, I needed to fulfill my purpose here in Virginia. God blessed me by allowing me a role in the situation. I was the only family member with reliable internet connection, so I was the one who kept people updated with what was happening [by the way, it was amazing how the body of Christ surrounded all of us with care. God is so good]. So now, I've learned to be content with where I am. I've accepted that if I was home, I wouldn't be fulfilling God's plan for my life, and I don't want to disobey God like that. I have to accept that my life will never be quite like it was in highschool, and that it's not a bad thing. God is a good God who gives good gifts to His children. He has a plan for me, and He will always provide for me. God is good.

Secondly, I had to be reminded yet again about my own insufficiency, and God's great power. I know, I know, I should have learned this lesson ages ago. But I'll get it down eventually. :) With everything going on last week, I spent lots of time on the phone. Consequently, I did NOT spend that time stuying. Additionally, it was exam week for the girl I tutor, so I put in some extra time helping her. Since next week is crazily busy, I was feeling overwhelmed by the work. But by God's grace, and not my strength, I've been able to keep up. I'm not ahead, but I'm not behind. I had to deal with a pride issue, since it was bugging me that my roommates are ahead of me. I'm fiercily competitive, if I think I can win. :P Anyways, it was wrong of me to have to be first. With God's strength, I will be faithful to what He calls me to do. No more, and definitely no less.

Finally, I thought I would share a reminder from a senior testimony last week. No matter what we do, we cannot do anything to cause God to love us any more or any less than He already does. We can strive our hardest to be perfect, and He won't love us anymore. When God looks at us, He sees the perfection of His Son, and we can't beat that. Yes, we should strive to be like Christ. But we should be motivated by God's great grace and love, and not out of hope to win His affection. He already loves us more than we can ever, EVER deserve.

This next week will have its challenges. A policy prospectus, a paper, a speech and a book report are all due (and we're not talking Little House on the Prairie, I had to read Wealth of Nations). But here's a bit of exciting news - my best friend, Kira Muraoka, is coming to visit me in two weeks!!! I am SO excited. I know I've said this, time and again, but I just have to say it again: God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good. :)

~Carissa