Here I am at the beginning of another week. I feel like I really grew up a lot last week, and I learned much about my Lord and myself. First of all, my mom is okay. :) She got out of the hospital on Friday morning, and made it home that evening. Now the family (minus me) is reunited on the mountain. :)
So how did I grow up last week? Well, the trials really taught me a lot. James 1 is true -we should rejoice when we face trials, because if we perservere through them God will use them to make us perfect and complete. No, I'm not perfect yet, but I think I took a step further.
First, I learned that I have to grow up and take a step away from home. Christmas break was wonderful; it really taught me to appreciate home and family. It also made it very difficult to come back to school. For the past couple weeks, I've been resenting being at college. All I wanted to do was be at home to cook, clean, and be with my family and friends. But I realized that if I'm resenting being here, am I not resenting God's plan? And if I'm resenting His plan, doesn't that mean I'm resenting Him? And resenting God is most certainly a foolish thing to do. I had to trust that God knew that my mom would have complications, and He planned that I would be here in Virginia at the time. So instead of wishing for California, I needed to fulfill my purpose here in Virginia. God blessed me by allowing me a role in the situation. I was the only family member with reliable internet connection, so I was the one who kept people updated with what was happening [by the way, it was amazing how the body of Christ surrounded all of us with care. God is so good]. So now, I've learned to be content with where I am. I've accepted that if I was home, I wouldn't be fulfilling God's plan for my life, and I don't want to disobey God like that. I have to accept that my life will never be quite like it was in highschool, and that it's not a bad thing. God is a good God who gives good gifts to His children. He has a plan for me, and He will always provide for me. God is good.
Secondly, I had to be reminded yet again about my own insufficiency, and God's great power. I know, I know, I should have learned this lesson ages ago. But I'll get it down eventually. :) With everything going on last week, I spent lots of time on the phone. Consequently, I did NOT spend that time stuying. Additionally, it was exam week for the girl I tutor, so I put in some extra time helping her. Since next week is crazily busy, I was feeling overwhelmed by the work. But by God's grace, and not my strength, I've been able to keep up. I'm not ahead, but I'm not behind. I had to deal with a pride issue, since it was bugging me that my roommates are ahead of me. I'm fiercily competitive, if I think I can win. :P Anyways, it was wrong of me to have to be first. With God's strength, I will be faithful to what He calls me to do. No more, and definitely no less.
Finally, I thought I would share a reminder from a senior testimony last week. No matter what we do, we cannot do anything to cause God to love us any more or any less than He already does. We can strive our hardest to be perfect, and He won't love us anymore. When God looks at us, He sees the perfection of His Son, and we can't beat that. Yes, we should strive to be like Christ. But we should be motivated by God's great grace and love, and not out of hope to win His affection. He already loves us more than we can ever, EVER deserve.
This next week will have its challenges. A policy prospectus, a paper, a speech and a book report are all due (and we're not talking Little House on the Prairie, I had to read Wealth of Nations). But here's a bit of exciting news - my best friend, Kira Muraoka, is coming to visit me in two weeks!!! I am SO excited. I know I've said this, time and again, but I just have to say it again: God is good. All the time. All the time, God is good. :)
~Carissa
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 24, 2010
Snow, Birthday and the Hospital
My my my, what week it has been! Let me see, where to begin...
I guess it all started on Tuesday. California was in the middle of one of the craziest storms I can ever recall. There was massive rainfall, floods, mudslides, and at least one tornado at Sunset beach (yes, I'm serious). My family had decided to ride out the storm on the mountain, even though there were predictions of up to 10 feet of snow and a high likelihood of being snowed in. So on Tuesday night, just as I was climbing into bed, my phone rings. It was my sister Corrie. She told me that my mom's surgery site had become infected, and it was serious. Of course, it's snowing like crazy outside. My parents finally decided to take her down the mountain, with the help of some emergency vehicles. It was a scary time, and it was hard for me to be here, seemingly unable to help. But thanks be to God, they got down safely and made it to the ER.
Wednesday morning I woke up and talked to my mom first thing. It was my birthday. It was my first birthday away from home, first birthday that I had to go to school, first birthday in 6 years without my best friend, and first birthday in 4 years without going to Disneyland. To top it all off, my mom was in the hospital. It was a really rough morning for me. I made it through my first class, and was doing better by the time I reached chapel. I knew my mom was safe in the hospital, my sisters (who stayed at camp) were doing alright, and classmates started to wish me a happy birthday. I was overawed and humbled by how many people from my school wished me a happy birthday. It really made me feel, for the first time, that I belong here. I have friends who do care about me, and I about them. The people here are amazing, and I am blessed to be here. At dinner my friend Gracy made the cafeteria sing to me; slightly embarassing, yet a sweet gesture at the same time. That evening I attended a lecture about C.S. Lewis (who is absolutely amazing and inspiring and talented and such a godly example :D). Afterwards some friends threw me a "surprise" party with cake, cookies and a movie. In the end, it was a birthday completely different than any I've had before. And yet, it was a good birthday. I learned a lot through it. I learned that I must grow up in some ways and face the fact that life will never be exactly as it was in highschool. I've turned a bend in the road, and I will go forward with joy instead of longing for what's behind. I'm learning how to face trials and difficulties with grace and strength that comes from the Lord, and to perservere so that I may be "mature and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1). And I'm realizing even more how good, and kind, and loving our Holy, powerful God is.
Thursday and Friday were very topsy-turvy. One moment it seems that my mom is getting better and can go home soon, the next she's getting worse. The infection kept spreading, and the doctor's weren't sure what was wrong. She tried a few different antibiotitcs and has undergone some different tests, but the doctors still don't know. My sisters finally got snowed in at camp, since Caltrans isn't plowing past Chilao. They have somewhere around 3 1/2 to 4 feet of snow at the moment, and more snow is forcasted for Monday.
As a birthday present, my parents had arranged for myself and four friends to go ice skating on Friday night. We went to the rink, and it turned out to be very crowded due to a middle-school fundraising event. But the manager allowed us to exchange our tickets for another night, and instead we got coffee (at Starbucks!!!) and went to see Sherlock Holmes. It is SO nice to get off campus every now and then, and actually realize there's a world out there. I had a great time being with my RA, roommates and my good friend Gracy. It's just another example of the great people God has put around me.
So now I head into next week with some new lessons learned, and I'm ready to face the lessons this week holds. Mom is still in the hospital, but is feeling better today. I look forward to going ice skating and I'm still waiting for the birthday package from my sisters :). I'll go back to tutoring, which has been a really good experience so far. God is good. Then, Now and Forevermore. Amen and Amen.
With love,
~Carissa
I guess it all started on Tuesday. California was in the middle of one of the craziest storms I can ever recall. There was massive rainfall, floods, mudslides, and at least one tornado at Sunset beach (yes, I'm serious). My family had decided to ride out the storm on the mountain, even though there were predictions of up to 10 feet of snow and a high likelihood of being snowed in. So on Tuesday night, just as I was climbing into bed, my phone rings. It was my sister Corrie. She told me that my mom's surgery site had become infected, and it was serious. Of course, it's snowing like crazy outside. My parents finally decided to take her down the mountain, with the help of some emergency vehicles. It was a scary time, and it was hard for me to be here, seemingly unable to help. But thanks be to God, they got down safely and made it to the ER.
Wednesday morning I woke up and talked to my mom first thing. It was my birthday. It was my first birthday away from home, first birthday that I had to go to school, first birthday in 6 years without my best friend, and first birthday in 4 years without going to Disneyland. To top it all off, my mom was in the hospital. It was a really rough morning for me. I made it through my first class, and was doing better by the time I reached chapel. I knew my mom was safe in the hospital, my sisters (who stayed at camp) were doing alright, and classmates started to wish me a happy birthday. I was overawed and humbled by how many people from my school wished me a happy birthday. It really made me feel, for the first time, that I belong here. I have friends who do care about me, and I about them. The people here are amazing, and I am blessed to be here. At dinner my friend Gracy made the cafeteria sing to me; slightly embarassing, yet a sweet gesture at the same time. That evening I attended a lecture about C.S. Lewis (who is absolutely amazing and inspiring and talented and such a godly example :D). Afterwards some friends threw me a "surprise" party with cake, cookies and a movie. In the end, it was a birthday completely different than any I've had before. And yet, it was a good birthday. I learned a lot through it. I learned that I must grow up in some ways and face the fact that life will never be exactly as it was in highschool. I've turned a bend in the road, and I will go forward with joy instead of longing for what's behind. I'm learning how to face trials and difficulties with grace and strength that comes from the Lord, and to perservere so that I may be "mature and complete, lacking in nothing" (James 1). And I'm realizing even more how good, and kind, and loving our Holy, powerful God is.
Thursday and Friday were very topsy-turvy. One moment it seems that my mom is getting better and can go home soon, the next she's getting worse. The infection kept spreading, and the doctor's weren't sure what was wrong. She tried a few different antibiotitcs and has undergone some different tests, but the doctors still don't know. My sisters finally got snowed in at camp, since Caltrans isn't plowing past Chilao. They have somewhere around 3 1/2 to 4 feet of snow at the moment, and more snow is forcasted for Monday.
As a birthday present, my parents had arranged for myself and four friends to go ice skating on Friday night. We went to the rink, and it turned out to be very crowded due to a middle-school fundraising event. But the manager allowed us to exchange our tickets for another night, and instead we got coffee (at Starbucks!!!) and went to see Sherlock Holmes. It is SO nice to get off campus every now and then, and actually realize there's a world out there. I had a great time being with my RA, roommates and my good friend Gracy. It's just another example of the great people God has put around me.
So now I head into next week with some new lessons learned, and I'm ready to face the lessons this week holds. Mom is still in the hospital, but is feeling better today. I look forward to going ice skating and I'm still waiting for the birthday package from my sisters :). I'll go back to tutoring, which has been a really good experience so far. God is good. Then, Now and Forevermore. Amen and Amen.
With love,
~Carissa
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Back to School
Hello everyone!
After a nice, long break, I'm back. Back to blogging, back to Virginia, back to school. And what a nice break it was! It was less hectic than my Thanksgiving visit, but I still had plenty to do. I spent the first two weeks of break simply with my family. I came home a week before Christmas, and so the whole holiday season I remember in a blur. Oh, I definetly enjoyed my Christmas. We were home, just the family enjoying each other. Living so far away from home has given me a new perspective that I don't think I would have if I got to go home more often. I'm starting to realize just how important family is. I have a new appreciation for my family, and I enjoyed just being back with them. I also really enjoyed being back at my church. The family of God is truly wonderful. They accepted me right back in, almost as if I had never been gone. My church family is such a blessing.
About a week before I left, my mom had surgery. It was a voluntary thing, meant mainly to prevent problems in the future. But it was still something major to our family. We parked our fifth wheel trailer in our church parking lot so that we would have somewhere to stay for the duration of the surgery (side note: does anyone realize how strange it is to shower in the church on Sunday morning? Unfortunately I do...). I spent lots of time shuttling to and from the hospital (including driving our duelie-pickup through Hollywood, which I am very proud of myself for). The surgery went very well, but the recovery was more difficult. My mom was in the hospital for 3 days following surgery. It was very impactful to see my mom lying there in a hospital bed, too weak to get up and too sick to eat. It unnerved me a little bit, and reminded me of the fraility of life. But I'm very glad that I was able to be there with the family throughout the surgery.
Coming back to school was very hard, maybe harder than the first time. Since my mom can't do any housework for three months, I was doing a lot of chores before I left. I enjoyed doing them; I enjoyed being helpful and productive. I seriously thought about staying to take care of things at home. But I knew, without a doubt, that God wanted me back here at college. It may not be where I think I need to be; it might not always be the place I want to be. But I want to be where God wants me. I'm here to honor Him, even though I might not really know why. I will trust Him to take care of home, to take care of my family and my mom. And I will do what He asks me to do, which is to be diligent and focused here.
Speaking of home, my family could use quite a bit of prayer right now. There is an absolutely HUGE storm predicted for Southern California. They're forcasting up to 8-10 feet of snow. We have never had so much snow before. If we get that much, my family will be snowed in for weeks, maybe months. They have decided to stay up at camp and ride it out. We have generators and food, but my mom is still on antibiotics from surgery. Also, since the fire wiped out all the vegetation, the mountainside is very unstable. With this much moisture major rock slides and mud slides are quite likely on the road. The road is already shut down, and we have no idea when it will reopen. I'm starting to see a trend here - I leave California in August, and a week later there was the biggest fire ever in So. Cal. I leave Virginia in December, and two days later the east is hit by a big storm and record low temperatures (by the way, it was a beautiful, sunny, 80 degrees while I was in Cali :]). Then I leave California, and a record storm prepares to hit my home! Crazy. But God is sovreign, and He will take care of my family and of me.
Meanwhile, I jump straight back into school. I'm excited for what lessons are in store for me - both academic and outside the classroom. I'm taking 15 credits instead of 13, and I have a job tutoring an 8th grade girl in pre-algebra. Pray for me as I face new challenges and new experience. As always, I keep you in my prayers and would love to know what is going on with any of you. May God bless this coming week, and if He permits I will blog again next Sunday!
~Carissa
After a nice, long break, I'm back. Back to blogging, back to Virginia, back to school. And what a nice break it was! It was less hectic than my Thanksgiving visit, but I still had plenty to do. I spent the first two weeks of break simply with my family. I came home a week before Christmas, and so the whole holiday season I remember in a blur. Oh, I definetly enjoyed my Christmas. We were home, just the family enjoying each other. Living so far away from home has given me a new perspective that I don't think I would have if I got to go home more often. I'm starting to realize just how important family is. I have a new appreciation for my family, and I enjoyed just being back with them. I also really enjoyed being back at my church. The family of God is truly wonderful. They accepted me right back in, almost as if I had never been gone. My church family is such a blessing.
About a week before I left, my mom had surgery. It was a voluntary thing, meant mainly to prevent problems in the future. But it was still something major to our family. We parked our fifth wheel trailer in our church parking lot so that we would have somewhere to stay for the duration of the surgery (side note: does anyone realize how strange it is to shower in the church on Sunday morning? Unfortunately I do...). I spent lots of time shuttling to and from the hospital (including driving our duelie-pickup through Hollywood, which I am very proud of myself for). The surgery went very well, but the recovery was more difficult. My mom was in the hospital for 3 days following surgery. It was very impactful to see my mom lying there in a hospital bed, too weak to get up and too sick to eat. It unnerved me a little bit, and reminded me of the fraility of life. But I'm very glad that I was able to be there with the family throughout the surgery.
Coming back to school was very hard, maybe harder than the first time. Since my mom can't do any housework for three months, I was doing a lot of chores before I left. I enjoyed doing them; I enjoyed being helpful and productive. I seriously thought about staying to take care of things at home. But I knew, without a doubt, that God wanted me back here at college. It may not be where I think I need to be; it might not always be the place I want to be. But I want to be where God wants me. I'm here to honor Him, even though I might not really know why. I will trust Him to take care of home, to take care of my family and my mom. And I will do what He asks me to do, which is to be diligent and focused here.
Speaking of home, my family could use quite a bit of prayer right now. There is an absolutely HUGE storm predicted for Southern California. They're forcasting up to 8-10 feet of snow. We have never had so much snow before. If we get that much, my family will be snowed in for weeks, maybe months. They have decided to stay up at camp and ride it out. We have generators and food, but my mom is still on antibiotics from surgery. Also, since the fire wiped out all the vegetation, the mountainside is very unstable. With this much moisture major rock slides and mud slides are quite likely on the road. The road is already shut down, and we have no idea when it will reopen. I'm starting to see a trend here - I leave California in August, and a week later there was the biggest fire ever in So. Cal. I leave Virginia in December, and two days later the east is hit by a big storm and record low temperatures (by the way, it was a beautiful, sunny, 80 degrees while I was in Cali :]). Then I leave California, and a record storm prepares to hit my home! Crazy. But God is sovreign, and He will take care of my family and of me.
Meanwhile, I jump straight back into school. I'm excited for what lessons are in store for me - both academic and outside the classroom. I'm taking 15 credits instead of 13, and I have a job tutoring an 8th grade girl in pre-algebra. Pray for me as I face new challenges and new experience. As always, I keep you in my prayers and would love to know what is going on with any of you. May God bless this coming week, and if He permits I will blog again next Sunday!
~Carissa
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